I had six seperate pictures that worked as a chronological narrative. I'll go into a bit of detail of what each means to me.
The first picture is reference to who I was eight years ago; the girl in school that no one wanted to talk to unless you needed something. I was made fun of, harassed, and branded; at home and at school. Those words seeped under my skin and I started believing it. I was trapped. I couldn't say anything and I felt like I was backed into a corner, pushed to the ground and unable to stand up for myself. The one word that I couldn't get off my chest was fat. I heard it from everyone, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone. I felt like I had no support system, and all I ever did was cry. What else could I do? I was so young...
The second picture signifies the struggle of trying to drown out those voices. I got sick of hearing the same things and feeling the same way. Those words that bothered me were no longer apparent, but in some way those voices were able to influence me, and steered me into a direction I didn't intend on following.
The third picture; things settled down and I finally felt like I could be something else, someone else. I did what I needed to do, to satisfy myself as well as others. I wasn't that girl who had all those words attached to her, but someone who was a little more proud. Still, I wasn't too sure of who I was becoming was healthy, both physically and emotionally.
Numero four. After all that hype about being proud, I realized I kind of wasn't proud of who I became. I was still frustrated with the same things because I tried to solve them with the wrong answers. It wasn't until last year when I decided that I had to get out of that state of mind. I've always held an inner strength, but I failed to realize. And though I had to step out into this new light of thinking with very little assurance, I knew this time would be right. That when my life came to an end, I'd be happy with who I am, the decisions I've made and love myself no matter what anyone else said. A scary world indeed, but I'm glad I opened that door for myself.
The fifth and sixth picture are a pretty accurate representation of who I am now; this goofy girl who loves to smile and have fun. These days aren't so grim, and even when life throws the occasional obstacle, I can find my way around it. It took a long time to get to this point, but I can finally say that I do love myself. I am in no way perfect, but I know that I'm a good person.
Everyday is another day to grow.
